Sunday 13th May.
Last night I slept like a baby so much so woke up at 530am and was not tired. Just excited that we are picking up Barney at 8.45.
Debating on my run today. More than anything where to run to and for how long. Think I will do a short one 2k or 3k and then tomorrow a bigger one. And work it like that so long as I am exercising everyday it does not really matter but it’s a plan in my head and I can then focus on other things.
Back from the vets and Barney loved coming home. A dog is a man’s best friend, he is just so lovely he makes me smile and feel good inside. I may do 4k now as I have motivation.
Well Julia did her first run in like well forever so very proud of her, I set off to do my run unsure as to how far or which direction i was going in so I just ran and did 3.25miles in 40 minutes.
Whilst I was running I thought to myself why am I doing this? For fitness? For weight loss? To destress? No to all I am doing it to be in control of my depression. That’s right control not recover but control. To control my depression means I am in charge of it and it’s not in charge of me, I make the decisions not my depression, I decide I will keep fighting, keep going not my depression holding me back.
Now to enjoy the football with a beer after all it is the last day of the football season.
Well the football was crap but what’s ne, if I don’t watch it it’s awesome but if I do it’s not.
Well today my journey is a good one, I have felt positive picking Barney up, proud that Julia did a run, content with my run and motivated thereafter. So today is a doing day for me.
I have not really needed to talk to anyone today as I am ok. It’s mainly been focused on Barney. It’s a welcomed break. But if I did need to I know I have people out there who would love to have a conversation with me no matter what which I continually feel loved for this.
Remember it’s ok not to be ok as long as you speak to someone.