Today is new years eve and at this point last year I silently started to break down, realising i was not ok but tried to brush it off.
As I am using today to reflect on my journey over the last year I can say I have been there, I have done that and I have almost come through it, yes I am “ok” but not fully recovered as I still have my moments but I try my best to keep going and overcome my situations as quickly and pain free as possible, which most of the time I need the support of my amazing wife.
From my lowest point in February to my highest most thoughtful and mental health free day in Ireland in October I wanted to reflect further and it took me time to realist what I needed to do, get my first tattoo, now this is something i would jot normally consider but my best day of the year was a trip to the Jamesons factory in Dublin where the motto of the Jamesons is Sine Metu which means without fear. This went deep inside and touched a point of my depression that felt amazing to me and so I decided to get it tattoed on my wrist to remind myself of the best day in my darkest year and to go forward without fear. Yes easily said than done but it does help me push through my fears.
We bought sorry that is the wrong word, we now have a puppy well a 1 year old malshi who helped me massively over the darkest time and kept me going when I was home along. Now he is just amazing and we could not be without him.
I must say I am far better than expected at 9pm on new years eve and really enjoyed my evening so far, onwards and upwards for me for 2019 got a lot to look forward too, my best mates stag do, my best mates wedding, more time with my wife and dog (Barney), more time with my family, a job I love and is totally stress free What more can I ask for after 2018?
Now it’s family time and I hope everyone enjoys their new years eve and celebrates another year that they are here, that they are close to their loved ones and can truly say they lived another year.
Just remember it’s ok not to be ok as long as you talk to someone. Happy New year everyone and best wishes for 2019.