Monday 9th July.
Well I have been writing my blog as normal but it has stopped working on WordPress so I am looking for an alternative website to write my blog.
Basically I have had a really good few days apart from yesterday about 4pm I started dipping, negative thoughts, negative outlook, negative feelings, short tempered and any at nothing but just angry. Went to bed Julia and Barney were fast asleep and I was awake for quiet some time and even cried for the way I was feeling, my mind racing with what it’s. I’ve not had it this bad for a number of weeks so it was a shock for me and I struggled to express it to Julia.
I am extremely unsure this morning about my volunteering and I keep thinking in my head various ways to not go and make some silly excuse to everyone and tell a white lie but also on the flip side I am really fighting myself to go and I think I will win and go and hopefully it will make me feel better. But I have an hour till I have to go so I just need to keep focused on some positive and try to not block but move my negative thoughts onwards.
Managed to get to the volunteering but took alot of effort and I just cracked on today but did not feel right at all, when we finished I left and on the way home was thinking did I achieve anything and the way I feel right now is no I don’t think I have, i just feel like I need sleep and lots of it, feel very tired.
Yes fell asleep for and hour and now awake but a bit dazed, was not sure of the time or day but as I come round more I am feeling better, a bit more positive and calm.
Julia is home now and I feel much better, glad I’m on the up again being that low is just awful but I fought back and got through it.
Now let’s try to get this blog back up and running on my new site. Hope it works.