Last nights dicussions with Danny and Julia was difficult but this morning has taken a big weight off my shoulders. On top of which i managed to get an extra hours sleep which always helps.
I can only continue to say it’s ok not to be ok as long as you speak to someone… it helps so much just give it a try and you will see, it may be tough at first but keep doing it and soon it will be easy to open up to random people if that’s where it takes you.
My list of things to do today is a but mundane but I have started on a positive and done the washing up and cleaned the kitchen, left Barney snoozing and walked into Atherton (my local town) did my football coupon, and picked up my perscription.
I am currently sat behind the guide dogs building where it is peacful, the only problem is on the path down the litter is terrible, something that I am taking pictures off on my way back to sent to the local council, not only is it poor from humankind it can also cause problems for dog walkers especially the guide dogs. People should have more respect. Anyway I will leave that with the council.
On my walk round Atherton I had a clear ish mind and I managed to observe everything around me, was a bit strange as usually I can’t do that but I noticed life… what do I mean about that, well life goes on, people carry on no matter what is inside, every person I looked at seemed normal and I’m sure I did to them but they don’t know my journey, my struggles and I don’t know theirs…. which is ok as some people don’t wish to share feelings with strangers but imagine if they did; imagine if the normal thing would be to talk to a random stranger and I don’t mean just say good morning isn’t it a lovely day, I mean have a 5 minute discussion over nothing and everything. It would be a different society we live in. Social media has become our normal but 15 years ago I wouldn’t message someone on Facebook, Twitter etc I would walk round knock on the door, see people in the street have a small chat. Speak to family member about family members. There is nothing wrong with social media just I feel it is over used and this can take you away from the “real world”. Although saying that it also can be a tool to reach out to people for the good.
On my walk my phone pretty much stayed in my pocket as I quite like the feeling I had observing, listening and understanding more about myself, about my condition, seemed a bit surreal but I do know what I experienced was “normal” , seeing learner drivers everywhere, not good a parallel parking (but who is at the start) this made me smile and remember my first attempt at a parallel park!
Then I saw builders on the new housing estate having banter, enjoying what they do or so it seems to me as a passer by, then I had the sounds of scaffolding clanging as it’s being constructed, in the distance dogs barking, birds tweeting, I realised i stopped having my 100 mile an hour thoughts and I just focused on the here and now and what is around me. I know I may have come across this before but I have not. It was a new sensation or a sensation I forgot about, the sensation was peaceful/relaxed. As I felt this I decided to write my blog early to show a different side of what happens during depression.
Now I have to take my photos and send them in to the council. Carry on with my list of mundane chores and of course play with the puppy.
Please continue to read, like and share my blog I know it’s reaching people out there some from America and even as far as Australia I just hope it helps someone.